Why are you single?
A lot of friends would usually ask this question, and most of the time, it’s because they are a bit bothered why at your age, you remained single. In fact, a lot of my friends ask me this question, and somehow, though asked quite frequently, they still catch me at a loss for words. So I decided to think about it and give them a consistent and justified answer. Answer? Because real, good-looking men are already taken; if not, they’re gay. When I say real, I’m not pertaining to sexuality or gender preference. They are real because they are worth keeping. One image from google made me change my mind though:
I would agree on some points that this diagram would present, taken from experiences that made me quite certain that real men are near extinction.
Attractive + Smart = Jerk:
These men are the ones who usually get our attention first, because they know exactly what to do just to make heads turn. Also, these are the sooth-sayers, flatterers, and smooth hunks that may qualify to Dante Alighieri’s Inferno. They know how the woman’s mind works and they are ready to please each and every whim of a female. When I say attractive, that includes, but is not limited to, the physical features. Attractive men may be oozing with charm, gentleness, or the personality that would sweep any woman off her feet. Since they are smart, they talk with sense, creativity, humor and all the interesting things for women, precisely because they know what a woman wants to hear and feel. Being attractive is like an awesome packaging, while being smart would be the luscious chocolate that would melt any woman’s logic. And just like chocolates, they’re not good for the heart.
Attractive + Nice = Dumb:
These men are head-turners, too, but a total turn off when you get to know them. Maybe it’s my preference that men are supposed to be smart. Smart enough to take me down on arguments or anywhere else. Anyway, they are what we call ‘eye candies’ and would definitely qualify if you need a trophy boyfriend; but only girls would want such, not women. You can imagine seeing their face first thing in the morning, but would eventually get tired that you would need to do all the thinking. And because most dumb men are ruled by their ego, they usually don’t understand when your opinions would matter most of the time, since theirs are not worth considering—they take it as domination. Though men allow domination in selective circumstances, they never liked being dominated in decision-making. This would lead to misunderstandings, and eventually a heart-breaking issue, rocking the relationship that would eventually end. They are like triple-layered decorative cakes that are so beautiful, you can’t eat them, which is a good choice. Because when you do, you’ll realize that the sparkling and mouth-watering designs are not edible.
Smart + Nice = Nerd:
These men are usually off the spotlight. They value working in silence and privacy, and it’s even hard to tell if they are interested with women at all. These are those that you meet in book sales, libraries, museums, historical places, symposia, conferences and anywhere educational. They may not be attractive when you meet them, but they can definitely amuse you with all the information that you are missing your entire life. That is actually great in my opinion. It’s just that, too much of everything becomes too dry and you would want to say, “Stop. Info overload.” Most nerds would usually have problems finding the real-world essence out of all their intellectual gains, eventually failing to apply them. They rely on what is printed, but never their experience; thus, making them conclude that reading is as good as experiencing, which is not true. Their world is limited with the pages and educational places which make them fear things that are out of the pages; making them fear risks, making them too predictable. And we have to admit, women love men who are daredevils in their respective domain. I guess it goes with the macho idea that men have to be bold enough to fight and stick with a woman despite all odds.
Smart + Nice + Attractive = Gay?
If you would add all the positive points that women would dig out of these men, then drop all the ones that you find revolting, according to the diagram, you’ll have gay for a partner. This is the part of the diagram that I wouldn’t agree with. That circle which overlaps all positive traits should be divided into two. Gay and Real Men. Yes, you read it right. There is a very thin line that divides the gender of biologically structured men. The only difference is that they prefer men and women respectively. I’ve met a man who is extremely attractive, amusingly smart and incredibly nice. No, he’s not gay. It’s just that, he’s already taken. They exist. But with the men population divided with these categories, the probability of finding one is a shoot for the stars. Usually, they are already taken because a lot of women are smart enough to keep them and do everything just to make them stay. Yes, it’s a first come, first served basis I should say. And if you are not lucky enough to bump into one, most likely, you are single. Now what if, you bump into a jerk, or a dumb, or a nerd? I say, push your luck if they would love you and eventually become real men. A jerk in love would drop all pretenses, keep his warmth and treat you right. A nerd in love would be willing to face his fears and enjoy life as how you would. A dumb in love would learn to listen to reason rather than ego. In short, real men don’t just exist; women can make them. I guess that’s why they would say that behind the success and fall of a man is woman. Assuming that all women are worthy of love, we are capable of love that transforms, not because we insist, but because men love us enough to do anything to keep us. Let us not forget that women would also vary, but that is another topic for another post.
After all that I said, what is my final answer? Why am I single? Real men are hard to find because most of them are taken, those that are not are gay or too few to be found by luck or serendipity. My point is, I’m too busy to look for them or to start transforming jerks. :D
This is a guest post from my friend “MAXIM“.